Every Couple Needs a Nickname: How #TeamRilPhon Was Formed

The snow held out and there was a slightly warmer atmosphere for Phil, Agatha and I to go for a walk around downtown St. Catharines today. Phil was keen for another caffeine boost after doing our usual Saturday housework - he cleaned, I fixed the wifi.

We stopped at Christopher’s Cafe for a couple of lattes. I popped in to order while Phil stayed outside with Agatha. The barista made kind conversation while preparing our drinks. He looked out the window to see Phil standing, facing the street and waiting in the cool February air.

“How long have you been together?” he asked.

“17 years,” I said.

“17 years? Wow, that’s almost as old as I am.”

I looked out the window at Phil’s back. Agatha peered into the window, wanting to come inside. Yes, we are celebrating 17 years together this month. Each year is another wow moment for both of us. In gay years, our time together is accelerated like dog years. 2009 seems both ancient yet just like yesterday.

February 6 was our first meet - dancing at The Vouz (torn down in summer 2010). Each of us were in tow with a friend who had planned a rendezvous at the Vouz. Phil shook my hand on the dance floor and I can honestly say I was immediately smitten. Here is this handsome man, dressed from his day at the office, standing in front of me. I had seen Phil online previously but was too afraid to make a move. That first handshake sparked a need in me - I needed to know more about this man. 

We spent the night talking about Survivor and testing each other’s tastes on which characters we liked. Both adamantly announcing Rupert as our least favourites, it had to be love. Towards the end of the night, Phil tried to rally people to visit some woman's house for a late-night hot tub. I played it cool and opted to walk home with another friend. Once home, I found Phil on Facebook and added him. He had not gone for the hot tub because he accepted the friend request right away. 

"What happened to your friends? Did they date long?" No. They grew tired of each other that night and found others to build temporary companionship with instead.

A week later, on February 13, was our first date - coffee at Starbucks and continuing our reality TV show tests with each other. I learned Phil was a fan of The Amazing Race, which was set to premiere the fourteenth season that Sunday. We had to be asked to leave so the shop could close. He drove me home and we made a promise for future plans. After reading week, we would have dinner and watch the second episode of the new season.

Side notes: Season 14 was Mike White's first of two appearances on the 'Race' and is heading into his second season of Survivor AND we share a birthday. Yet I have not been cast once, on anything...

The night of February 28 was the big one - The Amazing Date. I spent two weeks planning out a special Amazing Race-style date for us. Set in Niagara Falls, Phil would open clues for detours, road blocks and route information that led us from one task to the next.

Over drinks and dessert at TGIFs, we conspired about a couples’ name. Brendon & Rachel were "Brenchel", Rob & Amber were "Romber". If we were to make it - be each other's race partner - a name was imperative. We were having a fun time together - a real fun time. And we were shaping up to be a real fun pair.

On a napkin I penned out our names: Take the “R” from “Ron" and switch it with the “PH” in “Phil” to make Ril Phon. Better yet, let’s get our love trending on Twitter with #TeamRilPhon. There, under the soft glow of the neon lights on Clifton Hill, our official couple's name was created.

“Oh, I forgot your lids,” said the barista. I snapped back to 2026. I must have shared with more with the barista but I cannot recall it. I paid up, wished him a happy Valentine's day and took our lattes to continue our walk.

It would still be another four years until The Amazing Race Canada would premiere. #TeamRilPhon tried out but not for a while. Along the way, the franchises started integrating hashtags into their name plates on the screen. We wanted to be prepared if the day would ever come.

We made use of our team name in other ventures, like charity races and fundraisers. Our hashtag trends with our family and friends who use it frequently to refer to us and not confuse who is Ron and who is Phil (yes, that happens a lot more than it should). 

In a short four weeks I found my best friend and true love. Yes, we make a big deal out of our anniversaries - as everyone should. Milestones need to be celebrated. We have turned a small mound into a mountain of memories. If you have that kind of love, share it more than just one day a year. Be proud of what you have achieved. I am unabashed by my adoration and love for Phil. He is the best anniversary gift I get each year.

#TeamRilPhon will always be trending for me. I love you. Happy anniversaries. Thank you for another leg on this crazy adventure together.